So to update all of you readers... I am engaged and pregnant.
yay right?
actually I'm very happy about my news, but at the same time very saddened.
There are way too many things that have come up and not very many have been good ones.
the big question is "when are we getting married"
we both agreed on 2010. its best that way so at least our child by then will be old enough to be left alone (as in with a baby sitter) while we take an appropriate honeymoon.
but!!! now the question is what date. i've asked about 3 times. and finally had my mouth shut when he said he's not ready to set a date.
and that is not important to him to set a date right now.
i say this to all men out there. if you're not ready to set a date. then why get engaged? do you not know that a wedding and pregnancy are 2 of the most important things in a woman's life? i mean i have waited my whole life to get married and enaged. to only have it feel like a half assed commitment.
some words that hurt about this day were the words "i dont want to be a statistic." the others were "its not important to ME to set a date right now"
ok
so there goes that. i will not mention the infamous wedding anymore. i will tak about the pregnancy and how much i need you there with me right now.
another major reason why we are both working on getting him a new job. something that wont require him to work nights or weekends. like he does now. so i wont be home alone anymore like i have been for a year and half. and even more so now that i will be showing soon, and things are going to start to get a little harder for me to do from now on. but yet... he wants to take on a second job... club promoting. (which is not a family man's job) he says the money will be good it will help us out. and its "one night a week" (yeah for now). and he'll be out all NIGHT LONG AT A CLUB while his preggers fiancee is at home waiting on him.
is it me? or is that wrong? how fair and decent does that sound to you. i mean really. i'm blowing up like a balloon by the second and you want to be out at a club all night "promoting" b/c you think its good money?
why not work harder to get a BETTER DAY JOB so you can be there when i need you most?
is that irrational?
is that selfish?
he says he wants to be there for me and the baby. so how is making a few extra cash a night going to help IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE THERE WHEN IT MATTERS MOST? the whole point of getting a new job for him and finding one, is b/c we want "normal" hours. he wants normal hours.
and now he wants to work at a club?
i've done club promoting for a long long time. and i know very well how the business works. and nothing good will come out of this, his pockets will be a little more full, as well as his schedule, which means less time at home, and less time to be there like he says he WANTS TO BE.
i'm tired. i'm frustrated. i'm recovering from bronchitis. and i'm down right out of patience. i'm running on the pure adrenaline of love... which this baby is giving me. daddy puts ideas in his head that make sense to him, and b/c mommy doesnt agree and opens her mouth to say so. its going to be a fight. and then mommy is the bitch for saying something and then it never fails for him to say "its always your way"
um hello?!
am i the only one seeing that this is not about me and this is about us? about our future? and the fact that yes i do need him there but wouldnt you want to be there especially at night if something happens or needs to be done for the baby? or for the person carrying the child that will need assistance? its enough that i will be back in school and working and to add to my ball of stress i will be living under his parents roof for the next 6 months for him. and for us to "save money for our home." and meanwhile. the one making the sacrifice hear is the one who needs to be comfortable but wont be.. BC ITS NOT MY HOME. how hard is it for people to understand that. ITS NOT MY HOME. NO ES MI CASA. its not my comfort zone. and i hate it. i hate the idea. i've hated it since day one. and again. i support his decision. and again i'm making the sacrifice for him. ugh.
someone throw me some ice cream or something to mellow me out. my eyes are full of tears and i think its best i just stop talking and just go on with it day by day till it falls to shambles b/c i can't say anything w/o it me being "negative" or "controlling." i want what is best for us ... and after a year and half what is best for us is to together and there with each other. not apart and lonely waiting up till the wee hrs of the night for the other to come home buzzed or drunk after a night out in a club.
consider this the beginning of the end
consider me long gone and moved on
remember cruel words never solve anything.
remember excuses are like ass holes
everyone has them and only shit comes out of it.
remember the good times
remember how each lashing out tainted that memory.
remember a heart full of love,
remember each fight that crack it and drained a little more out.
remember the day we met and
remember the day you lost the best thing that ever happened to you.
consider this good bye.
The day I die and forever to belong to the heavens and no one else.
consider yourself my first.
the first i ever truly loved
the first i ever wanted a future with
the first i wanted to have children with
the first to fill my heart completely with love
the first to take it all away slowly
and the last person i will ever be with.
my bruised soul belongs to the BIG MAN
my crushed heart is now only flesh.
i will move on the my next life
and start a new adventure watching down on those i love.
Same old crap as every 2 weeks. Its not called "pay day" its called "pay the bills day" bleh! and Its the same old stupid discussion. blah!
As if I don't have enough things cutting the circulation of air going to my brain, I have to worry about my personal life. Granted it still does come first and so does "home" but! At the same time I'm one little person handling all of this on my own. I get minimal help at times, and this event is pushing me to my limit. Its literally 11 days away. I have 10 days to promote and I'm going hay-wire!
I need a 3rd person for a team in mid-town rice village. where the eff am I going to find a 3rd person? I do not have the slightest idea. BUT i know I have to find someone. ugh!
I want to yell and scream and shout off the roof tops. But at the same time for the first time ever I am actually staying calm. I have not sat in a corner crying with 1000000000000 thoughts running through my head, I just wake up, get dressed and walk out the house as usual. Continue on with my day job and have those 100000000000000 ideas and stresses bounce around in my head. I sleep thinking about it, but yet, no one sees how stressed I am, or much less sees it... Because for once I am not showing it. Or letting it be known. Its so stressful to the point of no return. But I have 10 days. And for the next 10 days the circles under my eyes will only get worse, and my energy will only let lower.
Today I am meeting up with an old friend who will help me sort some thoughts out. Answer a few of my questons. and hopefully bring me some peace, since no one else seems to be doing that. I hate when people say they are going to do something and NOT DO IT. It just annoys me when people do not answer the important stuff or when other pretend like its just no big deal "why stress?" "what's the big deal" ha! if it were as easy as saying woosa and exhaling a few times, don't you think I would have done that by now?
After a very rough start to Tuesday, well not so much rough, I finally got a breath of fresh air!!!
I was stressing a lot over our financial situation. No we're not poor! But we are in a way "broke" thanks to the fact that things keep coming up and we haven't been able to put money aside for our Vegas trip. I was mostly just stressing b/c we weren't going to have any spending money for the trip. Everything else is fine, the bills are getting paid, and everything is cool. Its the fact that we planned this trip, and really the planning didnt help 100%. But after talking to my boss and demanding a ball park figure for promoting I got a breath of fresh air
And I also got $200 for my services so far. Which is great, b/c now i can save the money I was giong to set aside from this next check and get what I need. I need new black shorts for promo, I need a new tire thanks to the pipe that got in Erick's way, I need a full tank of gas, contact solution and spending money for lunch and ect. So that pretty much covers it all. And in 2 weeks after the event I will still get paid!
Awesome, no?
I gotta find 6 sexxi ladies to join us at this new club. We're trying to scout out the place for our after-party after the event. So all in all its going good. Turns out the guy who is part owner of this club is my stinky's friend's brother. Small world no?
I'm 10 times more excited now about going to school, since i have one year left, and wont be able to work full time anymore during law school. I already will have a part-time gig lined up. and also guess what?
I HAVE AN INTERNSHIP @ A FIRM LINED UP AS WELL.
As of right now, I have it made. i just can't wait till Vegas is over and done with so we can start setting mulla aside for our house. Its all great and dandy.
Last night was cool too. Work work work, and I finally got to have margarita. Just the way I like it!!! thanks!
Today its off to church I go with my momma! Then meet up with my boss to pick up my shirt, and meet up with some friends for $1 beers. Ill probably only have one. Since I was up late last night. I'd love to be home and in bed by 12; Snuggled up to my stinky and going to sleep!
So we'll see!
So its TUESDAY!!! one day closer to friday! and ONE DAY CLOSER TO VEGAS!!!
First things first!!! So I HAVE GREAT NEWS!
After fighting with the Dean of my college!!.... I'M BACK IN SCHOOL!!! WHOOOOOOOOO HOOOOO 
Claudia the nerd part 3 ha ha!
I'm super excited, you would think I just won an award! but nope, just as well, i'm going back to school and I'm super excited. I havent felt this happy in a while, and now i have something HUGE to look forward to.
Erick and I are doing great, I hope me going back to school and finish off this year doesnt take a toll on us. I will still find a way to rearrange my schedule and such to make time. We all know ONE-ON-ONE time between a couple is major! So yeah, I'm excited. I can't wait to tell my dad! He said he would help me pay for school, which I hope he sticks to his word, since I could really use the help!
Today I have a promo to do for the event we're working for. the NO LIMIT FIGHTING: REDEMTION EVENT. its April 26, 2008 @ the arena theatre in Houston. For thos of you who love MMA.. this would be great for you. get your tickets at ticketmaster now before we sell out!
I'll be at Bayou City wings... my boss is suppose to be meeting me there. So hopefuly we can finally discuss a ballpark figure on my compensation. 
Overall its been a great start to the week. I'm sitting at my desk at work, with no make-up on. my face hurts. i got sunburn on Sunday. boo! and my face feels little dry now. I'm going home for lunch, i need to pump gas!, pick up some frozen dinners/lunch. and put some more aloe vera on my face!! So glad its hot again, but I should have been prepared for the ruthless sun.
Back to work now. I need to catch up on work and make a good impression on the boss lady, we're one person short this week, so guess who is picking up the slack?
So its 2008 and i'm doing what I do best... "writing"... to catch all of you up on what is going on!!!
I am still alive and kicking! 
As I updated you before! I moved in with my Hunny. We have now been living together for 1 year and 1 month 
common law kicked in I guess you can say. We still live in our cramped up apartment. But its our first home, and we're looking into getting our finances in order to BUY a home of our own pretty soon 
Just gotta get my credit up to par, fix those mistakes from being oh so young and stupid!
Still not in school, I'm hoping to go back this summer. I have changed my major!! ENGLISH is now my target. I love to write, read, and just get my intellect on, so this would fit me perfectly. I love it! I really miss school. I know I sound like a nerd right? but seriously, beneathe all the dorky-ness and all the crap I actaully do love school. every bit of is awesome! Learning new things and exploring different places even if I dont actually get to go there is great! 
I hope to travel this year. once finances are in order and payments are caught up on the broken car! lol things will work out.
So i picked up an extra gig for now. Its temporary. I have 19 days left. I'm back to promoting! its awesome! 
all in all its the best thing that has come my way. I pass out flyers, get all pretty and dolled up, sell a few tickets here and there, and hopefully sell out the event in the next week or so! wow... its been a while since i've felt so exhausted. I work from 8-5. get off work. sometimes work out, or just go home. layer on the makeup, fluff up the hair and off to another promo spot i go. Personal life?
Well, Erick and I are doing great! 
We hit many rough patches along the way. Its been a very bumpy year, but somehow we held strong. We're still together and that's what counts. I'm starting to feel more at ease when it comes to trust. Which is always a big issue once you've been hurt. But slowly I will get there. For now, I'm not tense as I once was. So we'll see what else comes up. Hopefully nothing but good times. I see my rents on Sundays, he plays soccer on sundays, so I get to be outdoors all day and see my family all the time. it works out great. We see his folks usually during the week if not on Saturdays. Our schedules don't always work out, I'm always busy and so is he. And usually his phone rings off the hook so he's basically working 24/7. It can get annoying, but I hope that soon he will find a job that will suit him well, where he will be recognized for what he can do rather than the minor details that are always picked at.
My job well... I work for AJG... actually for their firm called "western litigation" and its pretty steady. HIt a rough patch here with drama and rumors that were very untrue. All in all i guess when you're not overweight, old, with kids, or married, or have a low selfesteem, you tend to be a target. Doesnt help any taht i"m the youngest person here. YET AGAIN. Young and successful female.... guess you can call it a curse. But I love it. I intend on going to law school though my future is a little fuzzy right now, I still have intentions on going. I need to bring up my gpa and start making those straight A's. now that i will be studying something I like! I think it will be possible.
all in al I guess you can say its going pretty good. I have a few things coming up. friends birthdays, drinks with a friend and hopefully catch up with her. Then ... oh yeah i forgot to mention. WE'RE GOING TO VEGAS IN MAY!
whoo hoo! i'm super excited! i love it! i've never been. and i hope to get lucky on the slots or something. could use some chunk of change. so we'll see! gotta go rub budda!
how is everyone else?! long time since i've been on, but maybe things will change. I need a place to vent. and i dont always have time to write in my actual jounal. so this is a great way to type fast and get my thoughts out.
updateHEY THERE EVERYONE!
So i'm still alive and doing swell.
As of September 1, 2007 I will be MRS. ZURITA...
I met the man of dreams back in October... little did I know he was the man of my dreams... but none the less, we hung out... things went great and well... we live together... no kids. and its just great.
I've decided to slow down more in school. I'll graduate one way or another but for now. stopping to smell the roses doesnt sound half bad. I should be done within a year or so.
Other than that... my mother is doing great, my family is wonderful. my new family and in-laws are groovy...
just all been swell. I started a new job this past June, My birthday sucked booty... but oh well.
I'm going sky diving October 13th, and well... wish me luck! i'm super excited!
miss you guys...
you can find me on myspace.com/miss67c
I update blogs on there from time to time as well
hope all is well!
HOOK'EM HORNS!
~*CLAU*~
"ill love you forever"
just can't stop ringing in my head.... why is it when i'm strong enough to stand on my own two feet and move past the past... you speak the words that make my heart melt. I turn to mush and start to cry. without trying... you have have that way....
and i will never stop loving you. no matter how much i can try .... its just something that is engraved in my heart forever. no force in the universe is strong enough to break that.....
"ill love you forever" .... most beautiful words
damn this crap! lol.
i'm brain dead--- dont mind me. yesterday i finished my last final. and it was a huge relief to finally finish up the semester.
But overall it left me a little brain dead and drained. i went home to lay on the couch like a lazy ass cow... but its well deserved. I"ve been walking around today at work like a zomby, but i'm okay. Just drained and tired. I'm glad I'm taking that vacation to new york .
btw... 5 more days!
anyhoot. saturday is my graduation. I plan on sleeping alot friday nite and saturday. i need engergy. you can see the dark circles under my eyes. but i wear them with pride b/c i earned them.
lots of hard work. today i am going to hang out with my cousin while he is in town. i'm skipping date nite ... but my honey understands.
cilla will be joining us * i hope* and we'll see how far we go tonite 
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