Same old crap as every 2 weeks. Its not called "pay day" its called "pay the bills day" bleh! and Its the same old stupid discussion. blah!

As if I don't have enough things cutting the circulation of air going to my brain, I have to worry about my personal life. Granted it still does come first and so does "home" but! At the same time I'm one little person handling all of this on my own. I get minimal help at times, and this event is pushing me to my limit. Its literally 11 days away. I have 10 days to promote and I'm going hay-wire!

I need a 3rd person for a team in mid-town rice village. where the eff am I going to find a 3rd person? I do not have the slightest idea. BUT i know I have to find someone. ugh!

I want to yell and scream and shout off the roof tops. But at the same time for the first time ever I am actually staying calm. I have not sat in a corner crying with 1000000000000 thoughts running through my head, I just wake up, get dressed and walk out the house as usual. Continue on with my day job and have those 100000000000000 ideas and stresses bounce around in my head. I sleep thinking about it, but yet, no one sees how stressed I am, or much less sees it... Because for once I am not showing it. Or letting it be known. Its so stressful to the point of no return. But I have 10 days. And for the next 10 days the circles under my eyes will only get worse, and my energy will only let lower.

Today I am meeting up with an old friend who will help me sort some thoughts out. Answer a few of my questons. and hopefully bring me some peace, since no one else seems to be doing that. I hate when people say they are going to do something and NOT DO IT. It just annoys me when people do not answer the important stuff or when other pretend like its just no big deal "why stress?" "what's the big deal" ha! if it were as easy as saying woosa and exhaling a few times, don't you think I would have done that by now?