tomorrow i go to the doctor for testing.

i'm nervous as hell.

i get the jitters thinking about it, but i'm very confident about the results.

i know that either way, he and i will work at it to make me better again.

like i told him last week "so doc? i'm broken, fix me"

and he laughed. said i had a wonderful sense of humor and that i appear to be a very positive person with goals that i will accomplish.

that in itself put a smile on face, and he gave me the confidence not to cry and just be ok.

as far as the broken heart. well... its just "a little broken". It will take time to heal, but i'm not crying. like i told cilla n nat. I will not cry anymore. if it works it works, if it doesnt... then it doesnt. no more. i'm tired. i'm physically and emotionally drained. and i'm litterally at the end of my rope. i have bigger fish to fry. my health, and my personl life.

school is going good. i'm looking forward to going back to full time next semester.

work... well today i got another promotion. i'm head of MY department. My assistant started yesterday, and in 2 weeks i get another one. yes me, the baby in the office. lol. very interesting. I was impressed just with getting an assistant... but wow. lol. I know, i've been the "boss-lady" for like a month now... but now i have the official title. And i do not have to work directly with the 2 idiots who get on my nerves lol. I love it.

a dear friend of mine who i talk to often says that i have developed into a strong individual. facing death will do that to a person. and i am. i'm growing strong. i'm holding my head up high no matter what life is throwing at me, i'm still smiling. I'm still walking, sleeping, and moving right along. I no longer will lose sleep over a man, over a job, or over anyone who wants makes me frown.

I love me! lol. And i love loving me! ME IS HAPPY! lol. ♥

"wounds take time to heal... so don't pick at the scab or it won't ever heal properly"